Knight vs Cooper
by DancingRaindrops
Summary: Chad discovers Sonny's secret passion for Disney Channel and its original movies. Perhaps there's one in particular that she loves. And perhaps she's crushing on the star. And perhaps Chad won't exactly be happy to hear about it. Humorous one-shot.


A/N: So this story is dedicated to **FanFicSam**, who made my day so much with a PM in regards to **Vocabulary Lessons **that I had to write something for her. :D Hope you all like it!

**Knight vs. Cooper**

"And, for that matter, I bet _your _show is terrible! It definitely can't be as amazing as you make it out to be. Don't you have any humility, Chad?" Sonny concluded, her voice loud and carrying all the way down the hallway to her dressing room, where she had been headed until she met Chad. Chad had made the mistake of commenting snidely on her outfit for a sketch that week (What? So she looked like a clown. The sketch was about clowns! It was logical!) as he passed her, and suddenly they were exchanging insults left and right.

"Humility? I don't need humility. Or at least, I don't need to pretend that my show isn't good. Because I know that it is! It's definitely better than most of those stupid shows out there," Chad argued, his eyes flashing with the intensity of emotion that only seemed to appear when he was with Sonny.

"No, it's not!" The brunette put a defiant hand on her hip, ignoring the fact that her one-piece clown suit made it a bit difficult to keep her hand positioned there.

"Uh, _yeah_, it _is_," Chad nodded his head slowly as he spoke, as if explaining something very simple to a small child. "Name _one _show that's better."

"_Wizards of Waverly Place_," Sonny fired back immediately. "I don't even have to _watch_ your show to know that it's worse than _Wizards_." Chad was not pleased by the comparison, and he was especially displeased by the fact that Sonny had thought up a show so quickly.

"_Wizards of Waverly Place_?" he repeated, as though he had only heard of it once or twice. "Isn't that some show on Disney Channel? Disney? Really, Sonny? Really?"

"Well, why not? It has good shows sometimes!" Sonny defended herself, secretly groaning that she had inadvertently revealed her hidden love for Disney, which now seemed so childish to others of her age. And it _was_ childish. She knew that. But it was so funny! And so...entertaining! And besides, it taught her life experiences. Like "Boys do mean things to girls because they like them" (_JONAS_). Or "If you love something, set it free" (_Wizards_). Plenty of wonderful lessons in those Disney shows. Really.

"Does it, Sonny? Does it _really_?" Chad replied with an ever-so-maddeningly smug grin on his face. "I suppose your favorite movie is one of those Disney Channel movies too?"

"They're called DCOMs," Sonny corrected automatically before realizing it. Her hand moved from her waist to cover her mouth as she tried to take back her words. But Chad had noticed.

"DCOMs, hm? So your favorite movie is a _DCOM._ Which one, Sonny? I'm guessing it stars a male heartthrob with dreamy eyes and tousled hair, one who can somehow sing, dance, and win over the girl, all while facing some other huge challenge?" Chad smirked, his suspicions confirmed as Sonny flushed at his words, her hand leaving her mouth and forming an angry fist at her side, clenching the ridiculous outfit she was wearing.

"You're terrible, Chad. Completely hypocritical. Making fun of DCOMs when _your_ show uses every hackneyed plotline everyone already knows!"

"How would you know that it does if you haven't watched it?" Chad retaliated instantaneously, feeling proud that he had thought of a retort so quickly. "Besides, you're changing the subject. I didn't ask you to comment on my hypocrisy. What's your favorite movie, and by extension, DCOM? Is it one of those shows with _'The Movie'_ tacked on to it? 'Hannah Montana: _The Movie_.' 'Wizards of Waverly Place: _The Movie._' 'Lizzie McGuire: _The Movie._'"

"Actually, that one's 'The Lizzie McGuire Movie,'" Sonny pointed out, this time purposely. "And it's not even a DCOM, it was released in theaters."

"Wow. You know your Disney." Chad lifted his eyebrows, somewhat impressed. He couldn't recite statistics from anything beyond his life. Episode 319 of _Mackenzie Falls_, Bigfoot Gets the Girl. Episode 10, prom episode, his hair caught on fire. And his last five lunches? Steak, rack of lamb, lobster, steak, and steak. Steak was his favorite. But the point was that he didn't know anything about Disney. Except that there was that one guy who had a DCOM that came out recently...Chad vaguely remembered it because he remembered being furious that _Tween Weekly_ had given the cover not to him, Chad Dylan Cooper, possibly the greatest actor of our generation, but to _him_, some D-lister whom no one had ever heard of. "What was the last DCOM called?"

"_StarStruck_." Sonny smiled as she spoke, clearly daydreaming. "_StarStruck_, starring Sterling Knight."

"_StarStruck_," Chad repeated contemptuously, feeling a wave of jealousy towards this Sterling Knight. "I assume that one's your favorite, based on the lovestruck look on your face. Is he really that hot, Sonny? Or is he just better than the idiots you usually date?"

"No," Sonny protested angrily. "He's not just _hot_. He's gorgeous. And he can sing. And act! A thousand times better than _you_ can, Chad!"

"Oh, _really_, Sonny? _Really_?" Chad's face flushed slightly as his voice grew louder. "You think I can't act?!"

"Have you not been paying attention the past months I've been here? _No_, I do _not_ think you can act!" Sonny raised her voice to match Chad's, pulling the red ball off of her nose to maintain some dignity.

"You're kidding me, right? I'm the greatest actor of our generation! And you know why?" Chad answered his own question before Sonny could. "It's not because I'm the star of _Mackenzie Falls_, the number one tween show. It's because I act. Every. Single. Day. Practically every _minute_ of every single day." Sonny's still-clenched fists loosened as her expression mellowed.

"What do you mean, every minute of every single day?" She spoke softer, more curious now than angry.

"I _act_ like I'm a jerk. I _act_ like a self-absorbed, conceited Hollywood star. I _act_ like fame is all that matters to me, because it used to be." Chad's gaze wandered as he spoke, as though he weren't really talking to Sonny anymore. "I act like it hasn't changed. I act like I haven't - " He broke off abruptly, his focus returning to Sonny.

"Haven't what?"

"Haven't strangely become jealous of every guy who captures a certain girl's attention," Chad finished, in a manner that seemed to imply that he hadn't been going to say that originally. But the look in his eyes made Sonny's palms start sweating profusely, a tingle running down her spine.

"Surely there can't be _that_ many guys who have caught her attention," she argued weakly.

"Too many, all the same. Let's see, there was James Conroy," Chad began, ticking them off on his fingers. "Then the kiss cam jerk. Hayden. Then Jackson Tyler. I could hear you - I mean, her - screaming for him all the way down the hall. And now some jerk called Sterling Knight. What kind of a name is that, anyways?"

"I happen to love that name," Sonny retorted. She was touched by what Chad had said, but that didn't make his insulting Sterling's name acceptable. "It's like a knight in shining armor, but instead of _shining_ armor, it's _sterling_ armor."

"So he's your knight in shining armor?" Chad accused in a tone meant to be teasing and coming out slightly strangled instead.

"Well, in my dreams, I suppose. But in reality..."

"...in reality...?" Chad prompted when Sonny trailed off, uncertain.

"I've realized that Sonny Knight is quite an interesting name. Can you imagine, a night that's sunny?" Sonny let out a loud, awkward laugh. Chad only wrinkled his nose in displeasure at the thought of Sonny becoming Mrs. Sonny Knight. "Whereas a name like Sonny _Cooper_, on the other hand," Sonny mumbled to herself under her breath.

"What?" Chad was quick to ask.

"Actually, this whole topic is ridiculous. I mean, my name's Allison. And Allison Knight sounds perfectly fine," Sonny said hastily.

"Not as good as Allison Cooper," Chad muttered in the same way that Sonny had mentioned Sonny Cooper only a few moments before.

"What?" It was Sonny's turn to express incredulity.

"Nothing," Chad answered immediately.

"Oh." Sonny sounded disappointed, but Chad couldn't bring himself to say it aloud.

"So..."

"So..."

"So..."

"You know I don't really want to marry him, right?" Sonny spoke up before she could think better of it.

"Well, I hope not," Chad replied, unable to keep a hint of relief out of his tone.

"And why not?" Sonny held her breath involuntarily.

"Because then you'd be married to the star of a _DCOM._ And we wouldn't that, would we?" Chad had his answer at the ready, and Sonny let out the breath she had been holding.

"No. We wouldn't," she agreed, feeling somewhat let down.

"Although perhaps I'll give these DCOMs a chance. If you like them so very much," conceded Chad.

"For me, Chad? How generous of you," Sonny teased mockingly.

"For you. As always. Even if I_ act_ like it's not." Before Sonny had a chance to respond to his surprising words, Chad turned away and walked down the hall, disappearing around the corner.

"Allison Cooper. Hm." Sonny said to herself, her eyebrows scrunching in contemplation. "Hm."

And she proceeded slowly down the hallway and into her dressing room to change as though nothing had happened. Which, to the rest of the world, was the truth. Nothing had.

But deep down, Sonny knew that something had. And she wasn't exactly opposed. Not in the least.

A/N: Please review! Thank you. :P Then you can take your pick between Chad Dylan Cooper and Sterling Knight. XD


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